IT’S ALL ABOUT THE WORDS…

By May 20, 2016Oracle's Blog

In all the excitement of choosing the dress, the flowers, the cake, in sending the invitations and planning the tables, in all the flurry of organising your day-of-a-lifetime, don’t forget the central part of your wedding, the ceremony itself.

And the readings you choose, as well as being a wonderful way to include your friends and family in the proceedings, can set the tone of your marriage – and provide a rock to cling on to on those inevitable occasions when you find yourselves in stormy seas.

We’ve gathered a few you might like to consider, but if you keep your eyes open in the months before the day, you’ll find pieces of writing which suit your individual personalities and perfectly describe what you feel and how you are approaching the wonderful years to come.

Take, for instance, this from Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables:

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving. The great acts of love are done by those who are habitually performing small acts of kindness.

We pardon to the extent that we love. Love is knowing that, even when you are alone, you will never be lonely again.

And great happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved. Loved for ourselves. And even loved in spite of ourselves.

Then there’s Wilfred Arlan Peterson on The Art of a Good Marriage:

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In marriage, the little things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted, the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

Or how about Captain Corelli’s Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres?

Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because that is what love is.

Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being ‘in love’, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.

Of course, you can always go traditional Shakespeare. This is Sonnet 116:

Let me not to the marriage of true minds 
Admit impediments. Love is not love 
Which alters when it alteration finds, 
Or bends with the remover to remove. 
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark 
That looks on tempests and is never shaken; 
It is the star to every wand’ring bark, 
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken. 
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks 
Within his bending sickle’s compass come; 
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, 
But bears it out even to the edge of doom. 
If this be error, and upon me prov’d, 
I never writ, nor no man ever lov’d.

Or be whimsical – this is Us Two, by A A Milne:

Wherever I am, there’s always Pooh, there’s always Pooh and Me. 
Whatever I do, he wants to do, 
‘Where are you going today?’ says Pooh. 
‘Well that very odd ‘cos I was too. 
‘Let’s go together,’ says Pooh, says he. 
‘Let’s go together,’ says Pooh.

‘What’s twice eleven?’ I said to Pooh.
(‘Twice what?’ said Pooh to Me.)
‘I think it ought to be twenty-two.’
‘Just what I think myself,’ said Pooh.
‘It wasn’t an easy sum to do,
But that’s what it is,’ said Pooh, said he.
‘That’s what it is,’ said Pooh.

‘Let’s look for dragons,’ I said to Pooh.
‘Yes, let’s,’ said Pooh to Me.
We crossed the river and found a few –
‘Yes, those are dragons all right,’ said Pooh.
‘As soon as I saw their beaks I knew.
That’s what they are,’ said Pooh, said he.
‘That’s what they are,’ said Pooh.

‘Let’s frighten the dragons,’ I said to Pooh.
‘That’s right,’ said Pooh to Me.
‘I’m not afraid,’ I said to Pooh,
And I held his paw and I shouted ‘Shoo!
Silly old dragons!’- and off they flew.
‘I wasn’t afraid,’ said Pooh, said he,
‘I’m never afraid with you.’

So wherever I am, there’s always Pooh,
There’s always Pooh and Me.
‘What would I do?’ I said to Pooh,
‘If it wasn’t for you,’ and Pooh said: ‘True,
It isn’t much fun for One, but Two,
Can stick together,’ says Pooh, says he.
‘That’s how it is,’ says Pooh.

So there you have it, you get the idea. If you have time in your busy schedule, we’d love to hear what you choose for your ceremony.